Potty Training

Potty Training.  Many parents are terrified of these two words.  We, however, are not.  Children who enter our program at 6 wks through 6 months, typically potty train by 12-15 months.  We have been asked many times how we do this.  Basically, it comes down to viewing our babies as little people who are capable of doing big things.  We take their cues, and work with them.  We do not believe we should limit our babies by telling them they can't potty train until 18 months or later.  They are capable much sooner and it strengthens our communication and bond with them.  The article below describes our views on potty training as well as what we do.  Enjoy!

Potty Training

  

By Kathleen Chin and Laurie Boucke, Adoptive Moms

Did you know that your newly adopted baby might already be toilet trained (or well underway) when

you first meet? Be sure to ask when you are in China! While you’re at it, find out exactly how to

continue the toileting process your baby is familiar with so you can maintain continuity when you

return home. For example, it is possible that your baby will respond to a whistling sound that serves

as a signal to “go” potty. Ask to hear a demonstration of the sound! The sound of running water

may also be your baby’s elimination signal, so turning on the bathtub water or sink faucet may work

too.

How can parents in China potty train their child so young? There is an elimination awareness

“window of learning” open from birth to about 6 months of age. If parents tap into this sensitive

period, they generally have good results with toilet training. In China and many other countries,

parents report completion between the ages of 12-15 months. In Western countries, completion of

potty training tends to be around 18-24 months, or even later.

When I became a parent, I realized that my mom, busy raising seven children, made an amazing

accomplishment in potty training all of us by the time we were a year old. My first two daughters

(now 11 and 9) didn’t finish potty training until they were 3-1/2 years old. When we prepared for

our trip to China last September to pick up 8-month-old Kelli, the thought of toilet training never

even crossed my mind.

I learned many things about Kelli during my time in the hotel, including that she knew how to potty

in the toilet. After four days with Kelli, she was terribly constipated. We gave her lots of liquids and

rubbed her tummy, but nothing worked. By the end of day four, I noticed she kept grunting like she

had to poop. I thought, “If she can potty in the toilet, why not let her try to poop there too?” Sure

enough, that’s exactly what she wanted to do! She wasn't used to pooping in a diaper. What an

exciting breakthrough!

I began to wonder how babies in the orphanages start toilet learning so young. If you look closely at

the rows of high chairs in the orphanages, you’ll notice that not only are they used for feeding the

babies but also for potty training. There is a hole in the seat with a little door below where a potty

bowl is placed. That’s right – a high chair doubles as a potty, and that’s how they start potty training

in Chinese orphanages.

I arrived home from China, anxious to learn more. I came across the book Infant Potty Training by

Laurie Boucke and read it from start to finish. The concept was different compared to American

potty training, but I was highly motivated for a different approach to this age-old parenting task. I

was ready to put this new parenting knowledge to the test. Here are the four steps to start:

 

1. Observation

  

Watch and listen for your child’s individual timing, how long and how frequently she goes after

waking or feeding. Look for her body language, such as twisting or grimacing while defecating,

and listen for sounds, like grunting while defecating.

 

2. Anticipation or Intuition

  

Anticipate when your child needs to go, and then at that moment, make the whistling sound or

some other verbal cue. Within a few days, she will associate this sound with elimination.

 

3. Position & Toilet Place

  

When you think your baby needs to go, hold her gently and securely over your preferred toilet

place while giving your audible signal. She will soon associate the sound, position and toilet

place with elimination.

 

4. Baby-Mother Communication

  

From now on, pay close attention to your baby’s timing and signals. When you think she needs

to go, hold her in position and give your signal. If it is near time to go, babies are able to relax

those muscles upon receiving your cues.

Using infant pottying with your baby enhances bonding through closeness and communication. It is

also environmentally friendly – it conserves trees, water, petroleum, and landfill space. Although

most parents use diapers in between toilet visits, the number of diapers is drastically reduced over

time, and babies are out of diapers relatively early.

The Western world has been indoctrinated to reject any form of early toilet learning. Our doubts

stem from maturational readiness theories based on opinion and commercialism rather than

scientific proof. Millions of happy babies in China can’t be wrong! By changing our attitude from

skepticism to recognizing our babies’ amazing abilities, we open new doors. With infant pottying,

timing is based on baby’s natural rhythms and on spontaneous and learned communication between

mother and baby. There is no punishment, anger or coercion involved.

It is important to realize that this is not an all-or-nothing endeavor. The key is to find a realistic

balance. If need be, part-time pottying works fine and will not confuse your baby, as long as you

dedicate some time each day and are fairly consistent. Even if you can only concentrate on it in

relation to a few feedings a day, this is fine. When your schedule allows, potty your baby at regular

times. If siblings are at home or if you have one or more willing caregivers, teach them how to potty

your baby. Many families work on toilet learning simultaneously with an infant and a toddler and

find that the children motivate each other. Older siblings can help potty babies and are sometimes

able to “read” their baby brother or sister and anticipate the next toilet visit.

Don’t be discouraged by setbacks. They are normal and can occur for a number of reasons such as

teething, illness, emotional upset, or developmental milestones. It is fine to reduce or take a break

from potty visits. If your baby resists pottying, be creative and try to find ways to interest her, but if

she continues to protest, don’t persist. If you are tired or ill, don’t feel guilty about taking a break.

The only rules are to stay relaxed and nonpunitive, and to keep baby safe and comfortable.

 

For additional questions, please email Laurie Boucke at laurieb@white-boucke.com or Kathleen Chin at

nihao@kathleenchin.com. For more information online, visit www.timl.com/ipt